Lies
by DinosaurusSex
Summary: xx "Ti amo." I think he is thinking about something else when he says those words. No way were they meant for me. Rated M just in case, and it's D18 with implied D27. I think. And I'm horrible at choosing genres. :
1. Tears

Maybe it's normal.

I never was able to tell, that is, until I saw that one man that gave me all I wanted. Money, friends, and a whole lot more – I can assure you. However, I never understood one meaning. Love.

Ti amo.

Really, what did that even mean anymore? I could comprehend emotions such as like and dislike, even jealousy even though I'd usually stick to an angry or aloof attitude. After all, those are the only emotions others see me with. Except – obviously – _him._

It looks like he genuinely enjoys being with me, not cowering away like the other herbivores. Hell, he even enjoys it when I'm in a 'sparring'(really, the only reason I say it's sparring it's cause I don't feel like saying that I'm planning the deaths of many students) mood, fighting bad.

He has no clue how embarrassed I feel when his whip coils around me, or when all the anger transforms into lust. I don't even know how that happens – I think he plans it all (even though he is quite an idiot). One minute we'd be at each others throats, the next he'd be pressing me up against the fence on the roof, his tongue in my mouth, his hand in my shirt, his knee between my legs pressing against my...

You get the idea.

Is that what love is? When you partake in... sexual actions? If that's all it is, then I don't like it. It always leaves me with this feeling in my chest like something is missing especially when I wake up in a hotel alone. I hate it when he simply leaves without a word, as if he were waiting for me to fall asleep before he'd leave. He says it's work, but really, at one in the morning? Fuck, that's what gets me riled up and itching for a fight the next time I see him.

But in the end, he just takes it back to square one, the fight, the make-out, the loss.

It's always the same.

At first I never cared until he whispered something to me in Italian. At first I didn't know what it meant, but it irked me – I needed to know.

_Ti amo._

The internet, a wonderful thing. It wasn't like I was going to ask a herbivore for help. It was so much easier to search it up on Google. When I saw what it meant... Well, I was confused.

Love? Really? Why me out of everyone else?

What's worse is that I know he kind get anyone – much better than me. He can have a busty female and obedient companion instead of me, a prefect lusting for blood. So why would he bother holding me, a person much younger than him and less experienced? I would always mouth the questions, but never voice them. I was afraid I might not like the answers, that they'd continue to crush me.

Fuck, why'd he have to say that?

I've never been in a relationship where bonds have been made. I'm barely in relationships anyways, besides physical ones. Even those are scarce – it's usually a one time thing. But him, he always comes visit me when he is in Japan. He even says that sometimes he comes specifically because he missed me.

I don't believe that load of bullshit.

But fuck, why do I always feel so happy after I hear that? It's not normal – at all. I am glad I'm good at hiding my emotions or else Kusakabe would be questioning things. He's the only other person who has stood by me for longer than I can remember. Even now he's still by my side, but there was nothing more than just another of my henchmen.

Loyal.

But that's not the point. The point is that blond Italian that claims that the herbivore is his younger brother.

If he knew I was reflecting this much about him, I know he'd be happy – that's why I won't tell him.

_If only he were dead, I wouldn't have to worry about this shit._

I know I constantly think about how to kill him, but my mind gets the better of me. Killing him, I see my face contorted in a sadistic smile. But the thought of him actually dead... It wrenches my heart out. Then I find myself wishing for him to live for eternity. I'd miss him too much if he died before I did and that's the most likely thing to happen.

I go to _my_ school in Japan where people fear me.

He lives in Italy as a mafia boss.

We barely have similarities, but we aren't exact opposites. So how did the attraction start? Truthfully, I don't recall how this all started. I just know I wish it never did.

It hurts. More than anything I can bear.

I wonder how I've gotten so far sometimes. Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, at others I feel as if I was equivalent to trash. I think this is what people mean about drugs. It gives you a high, then after a while you feel like shit.

I'm never trying that.

He never told me he loved me in Japanese. Not once. Sometimes I wonder if he's lying – I have a feeling he is. He's quite friendly with just about everyone and is always with Tsunayoshi when he isn't with me. No, make that he is more with the herbivore than he is with me.

Maybe every time we have sex, he imagines the weakling in my place. That would explain the words muttered in Italian as he grunts. I don't know what those mean, though. I never got the chance to hear the words completely. Maybe when he whispers those sacred words in Italian, murmuring them in his half-asleep state, maybe he meant it for someone else.

I'm simply a replacement.

Now that I have that thought in my head, I can't seem to focus. I can feel tears coming to my eyes as I bring my knees to my chest. I was currently taking a nap in the disciplinary room, but then I began to think. I hate looking into things, it only leads to heartache – take now for example.

My arms are wrapped around my legs, bringing them closer as I bury my face in my knees. Fuck.

_I'm turning into a herbivore thanks to that bastard._

I was a carnivore, not a weakling like those who I beat. I was much better. However, at my current state:

I feel weak.

"Kyouya?"


	2. Wrong

It had been a while.

Every time we part, the time between the loss and the gain feels like an eternity.

Only Romario is truly aware about how much I care about this man. He knows until what length's I'll go for him. He knows that if I get hurt (this might sound a bit masochistic) that I'll enjoy everything I've received from him.

He's beautiful, he just doesn't know it.

I don't think too much in advance, like now for example. I heard that there was an available seat in a plane to go to Japan, and I instantly boarded it. My right-hand man was at my side, making sure I wouldn't do anything stupid while was sorting out my thoughts. I always feel like I'd regret going after the raven, but I never do. He's the joy of my life.

Had I knew he didn't believe about my loving words, I'd repeat them constantly until it got stuck in his head.

But I didn't know.

Ti amo, Kyouya. Ti amo.

If my job wasn't on my mind, it'd be him most likely. Sometimes my younger brother might pop in, but I wouldn't think about him too much. I see him a lot in real life thanks to Reborn. I still wish I had Leon, but Enzo has his good points.

When it's not trying to kill everyone.

I would laugh at how my thoughts always run astray. But now, I'm thinking about Kyouya yet again.

This obsession can't be healthy, can it?

Recently I noticed that the time spent on him in my mind overpasses that of my job. I guess it's because I love him, and being countries away isn't the best thing. For our relationship anyways.

It's _very_ physical.

Why, you may ask? Because he doesn't seem to listen to anything I have to say. Also, it's only my second time being with a man – I am more familiar with women. They can usually be wooed by words, but my sweet-talking doesn't seem to affect him. But when I convey my emotions in a physical manner, he seems to understand.

I think.

His usual expressionless face would be contorted in pleasure – but then again, that _might_ be because we're having sex. If he kept a straight face through that, I truly believe I'd be in awe. And perhaps just a tad bit scared.

I don't think he like me, though. I always try to hold his hand or just kiss him softly, but that always ends up in some sort of fight. That fight leads to sex. It's almost like a ritual, seeing as that's always what happens. I don't understand why this sets him off so much. I'm trying to be friendly. Loving.

Maybe he doesn't really want me.

Perhaps he is actually capable of pity?

But I'm optimistic, so I would shake that nasty thought out of my head. I hate pity, there's no point. What happens happens and that's how it is. I don't need pity, I'm strong enough.

The plane would land and I'd get my things. First thing I'd want to do is see my self-proclaimed brother – I forgot there was school so I wouldn't be able to do so. He's adorable. In addition, he seems to make me happy. Perhaps it's the way he is, always paranoid and such when he needn't be.

He reminds me so much of myself.

I greet his mother then place my things in a guest room. That's the usual routine, they're used to it. I then make my way to Namimori High with the help of the beautiful Nana (of course I voiced that out to her, earning a wide smile.

It's class time, I notice, seeing as no one is outside or littering the halls. Well, save for a few. I glance back at Romario who had been following me silently, watching from faraway. I see the baseball player out in the hall, striking up a conversation with him.

I'm nervous.

I'm used to hiding it, though.

I'm at the room that he uses as a napping area. I guess I can comprehend why, there are couches and such that seem great to lounge about in. After a few minutes of reflection, I finally open the door, popping my head in.

"Kyouya?"

I look around to see my loved one curled up into a misshaped ball on one of the couches. "Kyouya?" I repeated, my voice more frantic this time. I could've sworn I heard a sob – it scared me. I quickly made my way towards the couch, moving slowly. I finally came around to sitting beside them, my guard up thinking that he'll lash out an attack on me.

The attack never happened.

I'm even more worried. What could be effecting him this much? This wasn't normal, not at all. Slowly, I wrap my arm around his shoulder, pulling him towards my form. He still didn't move on his own will. The tears, they just continued to form silently.

_I don't know what to say._

I wasn't used to these type of things. Emotions aren't my forte, nor is comforting people.

My hand was on his cheek, caressing it softly, coaxing him to look up at me. He complied quite easily, avoiding my gaze, looking down at my chest or whatnot. I really didn't care where he was looking at right now.

It hurt.

Seeing him looking this sad, it seemed like all joy was sucked from his life (like biting people to death). Now all that was left was just a morose shell. I hug him to my chest, even if the positions we're in makes it uncomfortable.

I really don't care about that right now.

I'm doing my best to comfort him wordlessly, stroking his nape and back. I felt a section of my shirt begin to dampen. Fuck, it was serious. "Kyouya, ti amo." I whispered the last two words, not sure if it was appropriate, but I know it calmed me down at least. I hadn't noticed how tense I had gotten.

I hear his breath hitch, pushing me away. His eyes are red, furiously wiping off the tears that hadn't been absorbed by my shirt. Was what I said wrong?

Apparently.


End file.
